Help your teen sort out priorities
Sometimes teens face competing priorities. "Should I watch the show everyone's talking about or work on my science project?" To help your teen choose, write things that matter to her on separate notecards (having a lot of friends, excelling at soccer, getting good grades, etc.) Have her rank the cards from most to least important. Discuss her choices and your family's values. Then when she faces a choice, she can refer to her ranking.
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Preserve the memories of an unusual year
Let your child know you think she's special by making her a school memory book. Collect mementos like photos of your child working at home, the super-hard math problem she finally solved, etc. In the spring, lay them on the floor in chronological order and let her choose what she wants to include to remember this unusual school year. Put the items in a scrapbook. If you do it each year, your child will have a collection to be proud of.
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We partnered with @DonorsChoose to help our teachers fund more of their projects. Check out the new landing page for more information! www.donorschoose.org/nyecountyschooldistrict
Keep your teen's online life from causing school trouble
Many teens record their personal thoughts in blogs, videos or social media posts. But these are not the same as a private diary. They can be read by people all over the internet. To avoid trouble at school, make sure your teen knows she should never post (even as a joke) threats to harm school staff, students or property. This includes harming a person's reputation. She should never suggest breaking the law. And unless assigned to do so by a teacher, she should avoid posting during school hours or on school computers.
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Team up with the teacher to tackle problems
By now, you are probably aware of any issues your child is having with school and learning. But you may not always know how to address them. Her teacher is ready to help. Ask for a conference, in person, online or over the phone. Share your concerns and ask what the teacher has observed. Together, plan what you and the school can do to help. If necessary, meet again. Never give up on your child.
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How to boost social skills while social distancing
Many parents are wondering how their children can develop social skills during a pandemic. But many of these important social skills can be taught at home. Role-play being friendly, honest and a good listener with your child. When you play games together, teach her to be a good sport. You can promote skills like cooperation and compromise by doing projects together, such as making a family dinner.
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Ask your child to help with holiday plans
Don't worry if you can't reproduce past holiday celebrations this year. Instead, create some new traditions with your child. Participating in family rituals gives kids a sense of belonging. Together, decide what you will eat and what to do for family fun. Plan decorations your child can make. Think about ways everyone can help prepare and clean up. Your child will get a boost from seeing plans through and helping the family.
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Recharge your teen's fading motivation
It's not uncommon for students' motivation to decline a few months into the school year. To revive your teen's momentum, encourage him to set small, achievable goals. Suggest that he choose a small reward, such as texting a friend or taking a quick walk, that he will give himself when he finishes a task. And urge him to set and live up to personal standards. He should strive to do his best, not just enough to get by.
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Know what to do if your teen faces suspension
If you learn that your teen could be suspended, what should you do? Know the school rules. Get the facts of the matter, from both the school and your teen. Keep records, such as letters from the school and notes of your discussions. They will be helpful if the problem continues. But don't get angry or be in denial. Your teen may really need help. And don't panic. Most suspended students never break the rules again.
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Support your child through fourth grade challenges
Fourth grade can be a challenge for elementary school students. In the early grades, teachers focus on basic skills. But in fourth grade, students must use what they know. They generally tackle bigger projects and do more writing. To support your child, stay positive and establish a regular study time. Encourage him to set weekly goals and break big assignments into smaller chunks.
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Make time for fun, relaxing reading
Helping with schoolwork isn't the only way to support your child's education. One of the best things you can do is to encourage him to read for fun and relaxation. Print out a story he can read in the bathtub. Cozy up under a blanket and read by flashlight. To find more time, limit recreational screen time and offer reading as a replacement. The first two weeks may be hard, but it will get easier.
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In school or online, every class matters
Teens don't decide to drop out of school in just one day. They check out little by little, until they feel so disconnected that they decide not to return. It usually starts with skipping classes. If your teen has started skipping, talk to her about the importance attending every class. Express your confidence in her ability to learn, and if she's struggling, encourage her to work with the teacher to get back on track.
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Help your teen relax about math tests
Math tests make many students anxious. Knowing some test-taking strategies can help. Tell your teen to look the test over before beginning to answer, and to put checks beside problems he knows he can do. He should solve those problems first. If he gets stuck on a problem when doing the rest, he should move on until he's answered everything he can. Remind your teen that he'll get the most credit if he shows all his work.
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Three daily ways to support your child
From day to day, you may be helping your child with schoolwork in many different ways. But three things, according to research, will help every day. The first is making class attendance a priority, whether your child is learning at home or at school. The second is reading together. The third is managing recreational screen time. When the school day is over, turn off the screens and encourage your child to read, play games, exercise or think.
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Accomplishment is worth a little struggle
If you rush to solve your child's every problem, you send the message that you don't think he can manage by himself. When kids work problems out for themselves, it makes them feel competent and confident. That's why sometimes, it's best to let your child struggle through a problem on his own. Offer support and encouragement ("I know you can figure this out"), and then give him some space.
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How to help when your child is frustrated
Statements like, "I hate school!" or "I'm dumb!" are often signs that a child is frustrated with schoolwork. To help your child in this situation, share a story of how you struggled with something when you were young. Explain how you worked through it. Ask guiding questions to help him come up with strategies he could use. Then encourage him to try again. If frustration persists, let the teacher know.
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Find out what your teen thinks
When you ask your teen questions about what he thinks, not only do you show you care, you also learn more about his preferences, concerns and needs. And he gets practice in the art of verbal give-and-take. Try asking: What do you like most (or least) about school this year? How do you decide who your friends are? What makes the greatest person you know great? What excites (or worries) you most about the future?
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Is your teen sharing too much on social media?
Teens often believe it is only their friends and followers who are looking at their social media posts. But data miners, identity thieves and other predators also look online for information they can use. Ask your teen to show you her social media profiles and privacy settings. If she hesitates, search for her online yourself. If she has been sharing personal information, discuss the consequences of letting it fall into the wrong hands.
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Small changes can be early signs of struggles
Sometimes, the biggest changes in your teen can show up in the smallest ways. So be alert. Notice what's normal for your teen and what's changed. Be alert for small changes in his schoolwork or grades, changes in his sleep patterns or a drop-off in contact with friends. If you see these signs, talk to your teen. Ask what's going on and how you can help. If needed, contact the teachers or the school counselor.
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Answer a teacher call with an open mind
It’s hard not to imagine the worst possible scenario when the teacher contacts you about a problem with your child. But getting upset with the teacher or your child won't help. Instead, ask for more information and listen with an open mind. You'll probably find that the situation is not as bad as you assumed. When you know the specifics, it’s easier to work with the teacher to solve the problem.
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Make a place for 'works in progress'
You don't want your child's unfinished projects spread all over the house for weeks. But it's important not to make the preparation and cleanup so time-consuming that he puts off doing the project until the last minute. Find a space (the top of a bookcase, a box in the closet) where your child can store his unfinished project and supplies. Make it easy for him to pull the project out and work on it often.
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Share a five-day test preparation plan
Before the next test, suggest that your teen try this five-day study plan. Four days before test day, have her gather notes, handouts and quizzes about the material. Three days before, she should study them and list questions that might be on the test. Two days before, your teen should review the textbook and make notes about how she would answer possible test questions. The day before, she should quiz herself to see if she can write the facts or apply the formulas. On test day, she can review her notes.
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Respond calmly and firmly to signs of alcohol use
You weren't snooping, but you found a nearly empty bottle of liquor in your teen's room. Stay calm and ask your teen how it got there. He may accuse you of invading his privacy or tell you a story that's not quite true. Keep asking questions. Talk about the dangers of teen alcohol abuse, and say that you don't want your teen to be hurt. Then make it clear that underage drinking is illegal and you won't allow it.
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Teach your teen to account for mistakes
Responsibility includes being accountable for mistakes and their effects. Remind your teen that accountable people acknowledge their actions without making excuses or blaming others. Teach her that if she makes a mistake, she should apologize and say what she will do to prevent it from happening again. "I'm sorry I was late. Next time I won't wait until the last minute."
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Sometimes, setting an example means apologizing
Teens who have secure relationships with their families tend to do better in school. If you want to strengthen your relationship with your teen, set an example by making the first move. When you realize you have snapped at your teen, punished him out of anger or otherwise haven't been fair, pick a quiet moment and apologize. This isn't giving in, it is modeling a respectful relationship.
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Encourage confidence with a special bouquet
Encouragement helps kids become confident students. An "encouragement bouquet" is a fun way to remind your family to support one another. Put a vase in the middle of the table. With your child, attach paper cutout flowers to drinking straw stems. Then, whenever someone gives a compliment or word of encouragement to another family member, put a flower in the vase. The bouquet will be something special.
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Don't fall prey to scholarship scams
A scholarship is a great way for your teen to fund her education. But sometimes a scholarship can look like a better deal than it is. Don't trust any offer that asks you to pay a "small amount" to hold the scholarship. Real scholarships are free. Be cautious if an offer says your teen doesn't have to do a thing. Most scholarships require an application at least. Check out any offers with your teen's school counselor.
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Celebrate, support and reconnect at bedtime
Is your family trying to do so many things that it is hard to keep track of one another, even in the same house? Stay connected by gathering each night in a child’s bedroom. Take turns sharing one positive thing from your day. Share a least favorite thing too, if you like. Your family will be able to celebrate the positives together and help one another deal with any tough stuff that comes along.
Be a coach, but let your teen run with the ball
Your role in your teen's education is evolving, but it's just as important as ever. Instead of controlling the action, consider yourself a sideline coach. Support and encourage your teen's efforts to work independently by teaching him how to organize and plan his time. Ask specific questions about his assignments ("What reading to you have for history today?") that will help him focus on the tasks ahead.
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